Politics Carve Up 2024 Thanksgiving Dinner

There may more intense conversations around the Thanksgiving tables this November 28, as the anger over the recent election continues to fray family bonds.  Travel itself looks like it will hit new records, but the hurt over  Kamala’s loss cuts very deep.  This was not a campaign about “issues”.  This was a campaign about what one feels in one’s heart about the future ideal place for women, democracy, justice and society.

Some two-thirds of Americans say the election tensions are impacting their holiday plans. 

One in four are considering cancelling their travel plans completely.

It has become such a common complaint that professionals are giving advice on how to deal with the absent family members: “If a family member chooses not to attend Thanksgiving over political views…it’s important to not villainize them especially in front of children.”

There was a well-expressed encapsulation of this feeling by Andrea Tate on Huffpost, about her emotions when her husband and his family voted Republican.  She advised her husband that she could not forgive what he and so many others in this country had done: “tell your family I love them, but I will not be coming for Thanksgiving, and I won’t be hosting Christmas. I need space.

“I will not give thanks and hold hands in a circle with people who voted for a party that wants to take rights away from LGBTQ people. I will not pass the turkey to someone who supports people who have signaled they will cause harm to people with disabilities and the elderly. I will not sit by a Christmas tree celebrating the birth of Jesus and sipping eggnog when I know how many people may now find themselves in grave — even deadly — danger because they cannot get the reproductive care they need. I will not unwrap gifts given to me by people who voted for a party that has talked about building internment camps and mass deportation.

“I don’t know how or when I can greet my husband in the morning… We are now two, and it is agonizing.

“This is a woman’s challenge. This was Kamala’s challenge. I also knew I couldn’t change what had happened — only what happens now. Only what I do now. What I refuse to accept and what I promise to keep fighting for. And to do it all with honesty and love and, yes, anger, too.”

This has been a particularly vicious election.  Trump’s campaigns – which are usually founded on outrage against his opponent – has led three-quarters of Americans to be stressed about the future of their country, and more than half fear that it could lead to the end of democracy in the US.

That level of emotional investment is not going to die down over the holidays.

During the election, a degree of conflict entered politics that has rarely been seen before.  Four years after Trump urged a mob to attack the US Capitol, the emotions have simmered under the surface. Since then, at least 300 cases of political violence have been identified in the lead-up to the November 5^th election.  This is the most sustained increase in US political violence since the 1970s.  Scores of other disputes on issues ranging from LGBTQ+ rights to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict have sparked everything from small fights to more violent brawls and property destruction at rallies.

The pace of cases has remained remarkably consistent since beginning to rise in 2016, when Trump first ran.  In 2021 there were 93 cases of political violence, followed by 79 in 2022, and 76 in 2023.

Trump in particular is prone to use incendiary talk, threatening violence and revenge.

We may have reached the point where violence is the ‘new norm’

When asked if he expected violence after this election, Trump said, “If we don’t win, you know, it depends.” He has told supporters that any loss in this year’s race would be due to fraud.

There is no doubt where the violence is originating.  While only one in six Americans on average  supports political violence, that rises to one in three among Republicans.

In fact, it is not even a ‘Republican’ issue – it is a Trump and MAGA issue.  Fully one-third of MAGA supporters agree that “patriots may have to resort to violence in order to save our country.” Only 10% of independents and 8% of Democrats said the same.

It is interwoven with MAGA support for political violence to support for authoritarianism. Two thirds of Republicans score high on an authoritarian scale…including 75% of Trump-favoring Republicans.

“The fundamental fact is we have been a tinderbox of a country for years, and we are heading into not just the most contentious election in our lifetimes but probably the most dangerous of our lifetimes,” said Robert Pape, a professor at the University of Chicago who tracks views on political violence.

The real danger, the experts agree, comes after the election.

When people realize the consequence of what Trump has been saying in his rallies, there could come a time for widespread protests and violence. People were remarkably ignorant of the issues involved; in fact, when presented with the two lists of policy proposals voters overwhelmingly chose Harris when thy did not now ahead of time who was proposing them.

Now the immigrants are going to have to deal with their own deportation, because they voted for Trump while he said he was going to deport them.

Supporters of Palestine are going to find that their vote for Trump was a vote for the incineration of their homeland.

The targets of Trump’s wrath will start with a narrow, personal list:  He thinks he has been given a green light to refashion the presidency as a dictatorship.   The people he would like to subject to investigation, arrest, and incarceration under a second Trump term includes (but is hardly limited to) “former President Barack Obama, former Rep. Liz Cheney, Mark Zuckerberg, New York Attorney General Letitia James, Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg, Judge Arthur Engoron, members of the U.S. Capitol Police, members of the Jan. 6 committee, election workers, protesters, anyone who criticizes the Supreme Court, and journalists. Trump has also suggested that Gen. Mark Milley, his own chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, should be executed. (Cheney too.)”

This is a country where half the population is content in their hatred of women, of queer people, of brown and black people, of anyone who comes to the United States from a poorer country.

No wonder so many people Googled the term “How do I change my vote?”  after the election…as realization set in…

It is telling that the Dept of Education is on the MAGA hit list.  An informed electorate is not in their interest.

Families will be divided this Thanksgiving because the vote was so close; if 125,000 people had changed their minds, Harris would be President. 

Trump did not increase his vote compared to 2020.  Despite the global gestalt against current governments, he sputtered along with the same basic result, pulling in a razor-thin majority of 1.9%.  That is decreasing as counting continues.

Instead, what happened was that the male voters who supported Biden in 2020 stayed away from Kamala.  The women who expected some measure of support for their candidate, were betrayed.  No wonder they are a  bit bitter.

If I were a husband eating with my family at Thanksgiving, I’d first slip a portion of my meal to the cat under the table…just to be sure.

Of course, if you bring this up the dinner quarrel might get even more interesting, and there could be a pay-off in more turkey for you. 

The best idea is to set the dinner ground rules up front:  no politics.

Save that till the mid-terms.  The Republicans will be slaughtered.